The Burden of Depth in Early Motherhood

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was so focused on getting through the delivery that I barely allowed myself to think about what life with a newborn would actually look like. My anxiety kept my attention fixed on the birth itself, bracing myself for the unknown. The day-to-day reality of having a baby—the relentless rhythm of feeding, soothing, sleeping, and waking—felt too abstract to prepare for.